My Monitor Blues

March 12th, 2010

Back when I built my computer, Mom surprised me by buying me a super nice monitor to go with my new rig. It had excellent depth of color and an unbeatable size. It was pricey when she bought it for me, but one she happily purchased.

The one drawback was that the base couldn’t be detached from the monitor. Only the foot could be detached and not easily. It wasn’t a big deal until the move hit. I spent nearly an hour trying to detach the foot and then avoided putting it back on unless absolutely necessary.

About halfway through the move, I noticed the colors had gone washed out one morning and the colors were flaring along the top of the screen. Whites appeared a flickering pink and all sorts of other bizarre effects. It’s only gotten worse as time has gone on. Matt offered me use of his old CRT monitor, but it almost causes more eyestrain since I’m used to a 22″ widescreen.

Now I’m working on a web design project for my friend and guildmate, James, for his catering business. The black design wasn’t too bad, but the green one is much darker than I realized. On my monitor, it looks like a nice mint green with lighter stripes. Switched monitors and realized how dark it really is. >_<

I realize it has every right to die after being stuffed in the trunk for 2000 miles. I just can’t really afford to deal with this right now. On the other hand, I really want to do a good job on James’ project.

This might be the thing that gets me over this hump on the job search front.

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Do they make a Beano for Brain Farts?

March 3rd, 2010

Received a phone call just now from the human resource manager of a Dallas area company that makes VoIP security technologies as well as routers and stuff. In order to set them up, they provide a web application with their products.

It’s entry level, only basic level knowledge required. I’m giddy. Can he ask me some technical questions to test my knowledge? Absolutely!

“In Java, how would you set up two threads to count from 1 to 5 simultaneously?”

Brainfart… I stammer a basic loop structure.

“How would you do that in two threads?”

Brainfart. Ummmm….

“Have you had much experience in threads in Java?”

*whimper* Not much, I’m afraid.

“Okay, we’ll just move on. How would you hide an element in Javascript?”

Crap crap crap crap crap… I’ve DONE THIS! Several times in fact. …. brain fart.

“How would you underline an element using strictly CSS.”

text-decoration:underline

“Excellent. How would I look up a string of text inside of a text file in Unix/Linux?”

Great, big, stinking brainfart. I can’t believe my mom and pets can breathe this stench!

“I see you mention SQL on your resume, how would you look up a single line?”

SELECT FROM database… no, wait… (Thinking: SELECT geeks FROM WoW — btw, thanks! I wouldn’t have gotten that if your guild name didn’t spontaneously pop into my head. lol) SELECT fields FROM DATABASE WHERE keyfield

“Okay, great.”

Apologize for brainfarts, I know how to do this, but I just moved and all my resource books are still in storage.

“That’s fine. Do you have any questions for me?”

Recall Matt suggesting from now on asking how much experience they’re looking for.

“Not much, we’re looking for a junior member of the team. Someone who won’t need a great deal of training, but can grow with our company.”

Fantastic! Thanks so much!

*gives contact and other information* “Someone may contact you later in the week to schedule an interview. Thanks for your time and have a great day!”

Thanks again, have a nice day! Take care!

*head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk*

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I wasn’t prepared…

February 9th, 2010

Everything fell into place in December, just in time for Christmas. I called it my Christmas Miracle. And it was.

I’ve started my long vacation away from my family by starting a strict “No Contact” policy with them and I haven’t broke that. My cell phone is my own once again and I haven’t allowed my number to be given out without my permission.

I’m slowly realizing how deeply the family atmosphere has become ingrained. I’ve come to expect railing, screaming, scapegoating, and assigned or predetermined blame. I’ve come to expect to be kicked out, removed, and omitted due to my mistakes.

Nothing in my life has prepared me for calm and level-headed thinking when things go wrong. I don’t expect calm, rational “Let’s get this fixed now before it gets worse” responses. The level of calm is almost alarming and definitively disturbing.

A few days after we got here, Echo jumped up onto the mantle above the fireplace and broke Matt’s beer stein from Germany… he just calmly said “I’ll enjoy going back to get another one.” He’s just calm. My heart is hammering in my chest. And he’s just calm. It was an accident and it’s done and over with. He just got a box and took down the rest of his German steins to prevent it from happening again.

Nothing in my life has prepared me for… I guess the way real people respond to problems. I’ve been having nightmares where Matt to kicks us out or we’re homeless or back in Michigan. I wake up each morning feeling like I’ve run a marathon. My back aches, my shoulders stiff.

I just don’t know how to deal with calm people! Sounds crazy, but… I don’t. And despite longing for calm for so many years, I’m really not sure how to handle it. Calm and level-headed responses only occur in the MMOGs that I play, not in my real life!

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Debating today’s job fair

January 27th, 2010

After yesterday’s job fair disappointment, I spent most of today seriously debating going to the next. For one thing, the whole “NO EXCEPTIONS” regarding experience and security clearance is kind of a deterrent.

I looked up where it is and it’s not hard to get to, but I really don’t want to waste time or gas on something I might get turned away from. I’m entry level and while I have 2 years as a hobbyist, almost no employer counts that knowledge.

I also didn’t sleep well last night. The stress of moving, job searching, etc are resulting in some really crazy dreams. I often am waking up feeling like I ran a marathon all night.

I think a nap is calling more than this job fair. Hopefully there will be others soon.

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Job Fair: Not as Advertised

January 26th, 2010

Attended the job fair today, but it was a bit of a disappointment. I arrived early and got in line, hoping to beat out most of the crowd. I pre-registered, so I could hopefully move through the line fairly quickly. There was a line that snaked around several corridors, but with this economy that wasn’t a shock. They eventually split the lines up into those who had preregistered and those who hadn’t.

About an hour into the wait, I heard a man’s voice booming across the crowd. He eventually got to my section and announced loudly: No IT, No Tech, No Professionals. There were just 5 tables. The ad for the Job Fair was wrong. There was no representation for the major IT firms, despite being in Plano.

So, between 100 – 200 people walked out, including me. With my health problems and petite size (in case you’ve missed it, I’m barely over 5 feet tall), it’s fairly useless for me to inquire about military or law-enforcement.

However, attending did bring me a few leads. One of the ladies I was standing with had some IT/tech leads for me to follow: Esurance, Broadview Security, and Televista. Still a bit irked at wasting my time, but that was a very nice silver lining.

Supposedly there’s another career fair tomorrow in Richardson that’s supposed to be all Tech and IT, so planning on making my way there.

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Job Fairs

January 23rd, 2010

In Michigan, I rarely found out about job and career fairs until the day of. Usually with only 3 hours left before the fair ended.

Bright and early Thursday morning I received an unsolicited e-mail from a local recruiter regarding a job fair. A week in advance. It contained clear and concise directions, a link to registration, and full information regarding who is attending. Among the attending companies are many that I wouldn’t mind working for.

Cue me bouncing around the house in joy.

Toto, I don’t think we’re in Michigan anymore! Texas, I like your style!

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Bank Account Cleaned Out

January 17th, 2010

We rented a car for our road trip. Our old car simply wasn’t safe and we had no money to fix it up. So we sold that one for scrap and rented a nice, little 2009 Chevy Aveo for the trip down for $159 a week from Enterprise Rent-A-Car in Grand Rapids, MI.

Seemed pretty reasonable for a really nice car.

First snag, when Matt called and offered us a place to live in Texas, we called Enterprise and asked to take the car to Texas. They wanted us to drive all the way back to Michigan, negotiate a new contract and then drive to Texas. Never mind that the car had Georgia plates, registration, and insurance. Michigan.

24 hours later, despite being told we’d get an answer before they closed, they finally relented and we left for Texas.

They decided once we were in Dallas that we could drop the car off at any local Enterprise instead of driving the car off to Michigan. Now, here’s where things get fishy. My grandparents (Poppa and Sheba) have been meddling this whole time. Despite ignoring us or downright abusing us, they’re suddenly worried. They’re apparently talking to the car rental company. I don’t know if I should blame them for what followed or not. I am angry that the car company actually talked to them in the first place. Either way, first quote was $400 to drop the car off, but when we called to arrange it, it was only $75.

We dropped the car off January 7th at the Enterprise in Wylie TX. Strangely, we didn’t have enough money in our bank account to afford the $75. Sandy, Matt’s Mom, helped us pay it. We figured we could pay her back this past Friday.

Wednesday, the 13th, we get a call from the bank saying we’re overdrawn. However, their computers are down so they can’t tell us anything else.

The 14th, we call back and find out we’re not only overdrawn, but we’re overdrawn by $800. Frustrating, but not that surprising. This has been a brutal couple months.

Friday, the 15th, Sandy calls us first thing in the morning. Her debit card was charged $400 by Enterprise without her consent. We spent most of the day on the phone trying to iron that out. They claim they can’t refund her directly but it’ll go to our account.

Sandy calls her bank to ask that they deny any further charges from Enterprise and they tell her they’ve had numerous complaints about Enterprise continuing to charge after the car has been returned.

So now we’re waiting until Monday for a manager to come in.

I transferred my payments for my WoW account to my college refund card, only to discover I only have $10 on it. I put $21 on it, but it’ll be Monday before it posts. So looks like I’ll be missing the raid tonight.

If you ever rent a vehicle from Enterprise, watch your bank or credit account closely. Make sure you get an actual receipt and get everything in writing.

On the bright side, Matt bought Dragon Age Origins yesterday and he plans to play WoW all day. So his brand new PS3 is sitting all lonely and neglected. I think I’ll fix that! ^_~

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Adjustment

January 4th, 2010

Spent the last week adjusting to living in Texas. Poor Matt, he went from no pets to three. Echo has decided she’s Matt’s cat for now. She follows him around like a puppy, curling up in his lap, begging to be let into his room, and sleeping on his bed while he plays WoW. Luna barks like a maniac at him whenever he comes into the room.

Matt called the 22nd of December, right after my blog post. He’s letting us stay in 2 bedrooms of his 3 bedroom house rent free for 2 months. After that, we’ll negotiate rent. “Haul your asses down here!” he said. And haul ass we did.

The first catch came in the car rental company. Despite the Georgia plates, registration, and insurance they wanted us to drive all the way back to Michigan from Virginia to renegotiate the contract and then drive to Texas. They promised to get back to us on the 22nd, but never did. Mom got the oil changed on the 23rd and called them back to demand an answer. Finally given the okay, we took off for Texas.

Someday, I need to go back with cameras and time for a proper vacation. It was pouring when we went through Memphis, TN and we stopped only to get gas. Same story for Little Rock, AR. I was so frustrated with Richmond, I never did get to the cultural and historical areas.

Either way, I’m in Texas now. We arrived Christmas day and with Matt’s blessing have been relaxing so we can start attacking the job search this week. The Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex is HUGE. By far, this is the biggest metropolitan area I’ve ever seen. But the weather beats Michigan out by miles.

I’ve had dinner twice at James’s restaurant and gotten to meet Wally and his wife, Patrick, and James’s and one of his sons. Matt’s parents also openly invited us to have Christmas at their house, which made Christmas much happier.

What my task is now is a set of New Year’s Resolutions… including finding a job. Matt says there’s some consignment shops near the upper class and extremely upper class areas of town where I might be able to find some really great used clothing. This morning I redid my resume yet again.

Right now, I’ll take most anything just to get on my feet, but I really would like to find something in my field. That being said, I did tell Matt I’d be willing to do free work in the area to build my portfolio and make my name known in the area.

Much love to you all. I’m going to make it, even if I have to turn into Supergirl to do it.

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Everything I know about life, I learned from WoW

December 22nd, 2009

Don’t like one questing area? Try another. Hop on your mount and move thine-self.

The Richmond, VA area doesn’t seem to be panning out. I don’t have until January to wait to see how the profits from the Christmas season work out, not without help with housing. We declared we’d return to the Michigan area by Christmas if it didn’t work out and I don’t want to go back. As scary, frustrating, and stressful as this has been it’s been less scary, frustrating, and stressful than Michigan ever was. I’ve managed to somehow be calmer here than I’ve been in Michigan for years.

Even if we did go back, I wouldn’t be welcome at the family Christmas party. Mom might be welcomed, but the only present I might receive is the gift of their anger and maybe the chance to press assault charges on Karla.

I don’t regret leaving. Not in the least. I don’t regret taking this chance. But I’m realizing I should have chosen Dallas instead. Dave and Jane are wonderful; and, I relish the chance to meet them… but coming to Richmond for anything but a vacation was a mistake.

We’re realizing we were happier on the road, staring uncertainty in the face and gawking at the sights two isolated Michigan women hadn’t ever seen. Each night, as we cuddled with our pets, we knew we’d made the right choice.

And now it’s boiling down to another choice.

Matt was right, I think.

I’m trying hard not to view the slow snow cleanup through the eyes of a northerner, but I can’t help it. I keep telling myself that they’re not used to this much snow, but it just doesn’t seem like it should take this long to clean up. It’s like they’re waiting for the snow to melt, rather than do something about it. The political shenanigans between Richmond and the outlying counties is also aggravating. Part of the reason I chose Richmond over my other options was their so-called “Award Winning” public transportation system. However, due to the political disputes between the city and counties, the bus service fails to reach the major economic hubs of the area. I was counting on that system and now I know it’s simply not true.

I know it’s rough everywhere; I’m not looking for for a handout or the promised land of sunshine, bubble-gum rainbows, and 1% unemployment. I’m looking for a chance. Even if the economy were to do a complete rebound today, I know it will take years for everyone to recover.

For once in my life, I want to be given a chance. Nothing more, nothing less.

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Still Nothing

December 21st, 2009

Friday night, Richmond was buried under roughly 20 inches of snow and promptly shut down for the rest of the weekend. We found ourselves trapped at the hotel for the weekend, which has put us behind… majorly behind.

We’re running out of money fast and have no jobs to show for it. We’re trying to stay positive, but it’s difficult. It’s scary!

So far, no one wants to help us. It’s either homeless shelter or find a job before any agency will.

I’m beginning to think I should have chosen Texas. Unfortunately, I know even less about Texas than I do about Virginia. At the same time, I’ve had the opportunity to apply to so many jobs and have handed out so many resumes, the laws of the universe dictate that as soon as I leave, I’ll get a call. There’s not much in Michigan to return to, but one of our old neighbors said we could live in their basement if necessary.

Either way, we’re going to have to decide within the next day or so: return to Michigan, stay put, or try another region.

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