Archive for December, 2009

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Everything I know about life, I learned from WoW

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

Don’t like one questing area? Try another. Hop on your mount and move thine-self.

The Richmond, VA area doesn’t seem to be panning out. I don’t have until January to wait to see how the profits from the Christmas season work out, not without help with housing. We declared we’d return to the Michigan area by Christmas if it didn’t work out and I don’t want to go back. As scary, frustrating, and stressful as this has been it’s been less scary, frustrating, and stressful than Michigan ever was. I’ve managed to somehow be calmer here than I’ve been in Michigan for years.

Even if we did go back, I wouldn’t be welcome at the family Christmas party. Mom might be welcomed, but the only present I might receive is the gift of their anger and maybe the chance to press assault charges on Karla.

I don’t regret leaving. Not in the least. I don’t regret taking this chance. But I’m realizing I should have chosen Dallas instead. Dave and Jane are wonderful; and, I relish the chance to meet them… but coming to Richmond for anything but a vacation was a mistake.

We’re realizing we were happier on the road, staring uncertainty in the face and gawking at the sights two isolated Michigan women hadn’t ever seen. Each night, as we cuddled with our pets, we knew we’d made the right choice.

And now it’s boiling down to another choice.

Matt was right, I think.

I’m trying hard not to view the slow snow cleanup through the eyes of a northerner, but I can’t help it. I keep telling myself that they’re not used to this much snow, but it just doesn’t seem like it should take this long to clean up. It’s like they’re waiting for the snow to melt, rather than do something about it. The political shenanigans between Richmond and the outlying counties is also aggravating. Part of the reason I chose Richmond over my other options was their so-called “Award Winning” public transportation system. However, due to the political disputes between the city and counties, the bus service fails to reach the major economic hubs of the area. I was counting on that system and now I know it’s simply not true.

I know it’s rough everywhere; I’m not looking for for a handout or the promised land of sunshine, bubble-gum rainbows, and 1% unemployment. I’m looking for a chance. Even if the economy were to do a complete rebound today, I know it will take years for everyone to recover.

For once in my life, I want to be given a chance. Nothing more, nothing less.

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Still Nothing

Monday, December 21st, 2009

Friday night, Richmond was buried under roughly 20 inches of snow and promptly shut down for the rest of the weekend. We found ourselves trapped at the hotel for the weekend, which has put us behind… majorly behind.

We’re running out of money fast and have no jobs to show for it. We’re trying to stay positive, but it’s difficult. It’s scary!

So far, no one wants to help us. It’s either homeless shelter or find a job before any agency will.

I’m beginning to think I should have chosen Texas. Unfortunately, I know even less about Texas than I do about Virginia. At the same time, I’ve had the opportunity to apply to so many jobs and have handed out so many resumes, the laws of the universe dictate that as soon as I leave, I’ll get a call. There’s not much in Michigan to return to, but one of our old neighbors said we could live in their basement if necessary.

Either way, we’re going to have to decide within the next day or so: return to Michigan, stay put, or try another region.

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Hanging On

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Pounded the pavement all yesterday, most of the mall stores aren’t going to be doing any hiring until they see what their holiday sales look like. Trying really hard not to let that bother me or the number of times I got sized up. The big box and other stores said they’d get back to us by early next week.

I don’t remember all the places I dropped applications or resumes off too. Kind of face-palming over that. So far, I’ve only heard back from Sears, who politely said I wasn’t a good fit. Tomorrow I’m going to drop my resume off with some local headhunters, see what they say.

I honestly don’t think finding employment is going to be an issue. There’s also a really neat program to help first-time home owners get a loan and everything.

It’s temporary housing that’s proving difficult.

We’ve been calling as many organizations as we can for help, but most want us to have a job first. The others offer to place us in a homeless shelter, but our girls won’t be able to come. We can’t afford to stay in this hotel indefinitely.

Luna is alternately awesome and puzzling. She’s acting up, which means she’s not too welcome despite being my assistance dog. She’s acting too much like a pet. But she panics if she’s left alone in the hotel room. I’m not sure what to do. I can’t find any visible injuries, but I can’t afford to take her to the vet either. Right now, we have to take her with us and leave her in the car. But that’s not going to work when we find jobs.

The kitties are just amazing. I can’t get over how adaptable they are. Wish they’d pass a little of that on to Luna.

I asked mom to give me a little more time, see if anything pans out next week.

Grandma is making things even more confusing. She actually talked to me over the phone and she wasn’t a witch. She’s been giving us advice and seems genuinely worried about us. I don’t know what to make of that either. We’re talking even more about continuing south and going to Florida. I can’t believe we’re considering that!

I just know I really don’t want to go back to Michigan. Poppa called our cell yesterday morning and got me instead of mom. Instant hostility. Talking with him just those few seconds sapped me of energy and confidence.

I need distance. A lot of it.

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Computer, why must you trouble me right now?

Monday, December 14th, 2009

First, the silver thermal compound decided to go brittle on me and now I think the video card is dying. I turned the computer back on today after looking for jobs and now the colors are weird. Really eye-searing and I’m missing options in my display settings. Working on updating the display drivers right now, so crossing my fingers.

As soon as I can afford it, I think it’s time for a cheap, no-frills laptop. Just so I have other options than hauling my rig around.

We’re having our share of pity-parties. But that being said, I had quite a few excited managers when I mentioned I was a computer science major. Sadly, I don’t have a printer and the hotel only has a shared computer with so much spyware I’m amazed it can function. The fact that it can’t find the printer doesn’t surprise me.

So going to have to find another place to print out a resume and all the different applications I’d like to fill out.

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In Richmond

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Got into Richmond Friday morning and promptly got horribly lost. Drivers in Richmond are nuts! I swear!

Mom made the executive decision to stop at the Econo Lodge by the Arthur Ashe stadium. Big mistake. Welcome to Dive #2. Graffiti on the walls, lots of broken things in the room, the door would barely close, and a stench that made us sick for the rest of the night. We made it 2 hours before asthma and allergies drove us from the place and to a much much more expensive hotel across town.

As we’re racing to figure out where to go before we fled the room, I decided to fire up my computer to find something. It turns on and right back off. Turned it back on, it gets to my desktop, and shuts back down. Turned it back on and it immediately shut right back down. Finally, the computer made a long string of beeps and gave me a non-helpful message saying the CPU was out of temperature range.

So if I wasn’t already wheezing and gasping like a fish out of water, now I’m bawling and my beloved computer is out of commission.

Mom finally located the Comfort Inn Conference Center in Richmond and yes, they’d take the girls. So, we threw our stuff back in the car and got lost all over again. We finally found it and settled in for the night.

We called our cousins to report in and Dave did a little digging for us. He found an online coupon for the Quality Inn. They not only accepted the online coupon, but beat the price.

Spent most of Saturday with our cousins, Dave and Jane, and got a small tour of area near the hotel after dinner. Cross your fingers, we’re not getting as lost as we were before. We actually located a Radio Shack and a Kroger all on our own. The clerk at Radio Shack didn’t give me a deer-in-headlights look when I asked for Thermal Compound which totally amazed me; and, even more amazing, they had canned air and didn’t card me for it either!

Got the computer back up and running. My guess was either too much dust, the thermal compound had dried out and become brittle, or the heat sink had died on me. I decided to try the two cheapest solutions first. I cleaned it real good, scraped the old thermal compound off the processor and heat sink, and put fresh down. Good as new. ^_^

It’s in the 40s here today and raining, supposed to be in the 60s and sunny by Tuesday. Michigan, eat your heart out! (It was amusing running around in a tee and my puffy vest yesterday. Yes, stare in wonder at the Northern girl! “Whadaya mean, it’s cold!?”)

Luna, once again, seems to have forgotten her training. We think just too many new things or she’s reading our mood or something. She’s decided she’s got a burning case of separation anxiety. She’s also decided she loves riding elevators. While she’s supposed to be okay in all situations, I suspect I’ve been conned when she was asking to go potty but wanting back on the elevator right after we got off. Goofy dog! Echo and Kaze seem to be fine, aside from the fact they’re cuddling with each other, which they have never been prone to do.

Tomorrow I go job hunting and we see if Richmond or Henrico County DHS will be able to help us. Our cousins can offer emotional support, but they already have a house-full of people and pets. We’re running out of money fast. I want to make this work and I’m confident I can find a job…. but we’re beginning to question our sanity. Hell, we even contemplated seeing if Sheba could help us and continuing south to Florida. We also have thought about going back to Michigan. We’re running out of time on the rental car and aren’t sure we can afford to keep it another week.

I’m not sure what to do. Please, pray for us.

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MapQuest: Why did you do that?

Thursday, December 10th, 2009

MapQuest, why on earth did you have us drive down that country road through West Virginia? That wasted a good couple hours driving at only 35 mph where you could have had us stay on a highway. Talk about brain-melting! Even Ohio’s flatness wasn’t that bad.

Got an early start this morning and made it through the mountains. You should have seen mom geek out over the Allegheny Tunnel! OMG, she thought that was coolest thing ever! ^_^

After we got through the tunnel we started hitting bands of blowing snow, but the views of the mountains were still fantastic. I’m sure the truckers were getting annoyed with us since we kept slowing as something really frigging cool caught our attention. (Mom: “Look! The rock strata is almost vertical!”)

That slow trip through West Virginia cost us valuable traveling time, which prompted us to stop in Warrenton, VA in a Howard Johnson hotel for the night.

The wi-fi is free and the fastest I’ve found so far. Not sure what I’m going to do with it, though. Right now, a hot shower and bed sound really great. The roads through West Virginia gave me much way too much time to think and I found myself feeling really afraid and depressed again.

I thought too much about Poppa and his decision he tried forcing on us. At one point, the cats started crying, but all it took was reaching into their carriers and petting them for a moment to quiet them down. Thunderous purrs for a bit and they went back to sleep. I couldn’t help but start crying.

We’ll reach Richmond tomorrow and hopefully will finally be able to meet our cousins who live there.

But before we get there, we’ll have to see how many more times we’ll get lost.

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On The Road

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Finally found a wi-fi hotspot… $8 to get it, but I’m online. We’re currently chilling in the Red Roof Inn in Cranberry Township, PA. Could have had it last night in Ann Arbor, MI but kind of balked at the price.

The connection is a little wonky, we’ve been fighting wind and driving rain all the way here. I’m hoping the weather improves tomorrow so we can make better time.

Monday night, in a nutshell, sucked. If anyone reading this visits Grand Rapids, MI… DO NOT stay at the Motel 6 on 3 mile road. Our room reeked. I mean, it smelled SO bad! It was so awful, I went online and looked up what meth and other drugs smell like. At 3am, had a drunk start yelling and at 5am had two guys walked by our room yelling at each other the whole way. As soon as dawn broke, we were out of there.

We made it as far as Ann Arbor before our lack of sleep caught up with us and we were forced to find a motel. Today, we covered all of Ohio and got as far as Cranberry Township, PA before we decided to call it a night.

Luna and the kitties have been fantastic. Only problem is tonight Luna seems to have forgotten her training and been barking way too much. Hopefully it’s just a symptom of how long she’s been cooped up today.

Sheba is blowing my mind. Second night in a row, she’s called our cell phone all worried and wanting to know if we got in okay. To top it off… she said she was proud of us for taking this chance. She said we were brave. Who the heck is this woman and what has she done with my Grandmother?? Mine isn’t this nice.

Really wishing I had a camera. Took the wrong exit on Tuesday and ended up lost in Lansing, MI. Found a sign proclaiming “Warning! Speed humps ahead.” That amused me so stupid much. Plus, after the super flatness of Ohio, we started getting into some amazing landscapes and rock formations.

We were so geeking out over the lavish service plazas in Ohio. In case you’ve never been to one, it’s basically a tricked out rest stop. It has food courts, gas stations, massive bathrooms, shops, wi-fi hotspots, and tons of travel information. They’re literally a small mall. The condition of the roads once we hit the toll roads impressed us too. We’re used to Michigan’s worn and battered roads! Ohio’s and — so far — Pennsylvania’s roads were amazingly clean and smooth.

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Jumping Hoops

Monday, December 7th, 2009

So annoying trying to find internet access. Tried one library, but I have to have a library card. Tried another, but it refused to connect to my e-mail server.

So, check the ads in the local paper and discover Walmart has a ridiculously cheap USB Wi-Fi Adapter. So we picked it up and now I can use my own computer again off the hotel’s complimentary hotspot.

Anyway, to sum what’s going on up: Delays, delays, delays. Oh, and did I mention delays?

Delay #1: Snow Thursday Night / Friday. Lots of it. Craig and I made who knows how many trips using his friend’s truck to the storage unit. I’m shocked that neither of us has any cold damage to our hands or feet.

Delay #2: Nightfall. Craig and I worked hard all day on Friday until we couldn’t see anymore. So, we finally called it a night and we picked it up bright and very early on Saturday. After spending all day in the cold, we all head off to go relax someplace warm.

Delay #3: Landlord on Sunday. We winterized the trailer as best we can and call the landlord to let him know we were leaving. What are we going to do about X, Y, and Z. Can’t really do anything on Sunday, can’t call the necessary powers to find out what’s going on. So night 2 in the hotel.

Delay #3: Red Tape. We called everyone we needed to call, but the message is basically the same. “Let me work on this and get back to you tomorrow.”

So, back in a hotel for the third night in a row. *grumble* I was only counting on 4 hotels on the entire trip down, not before we can even leave town! Plus, we have another winter storm coming in Tuesday night. Really hoping we can get out of here before it arrives.

Anyway, my whining aside I have never been so proud of Luna, Echo, and Kaze. Somehow they’re all very good travelers and they’ve been taking the hotels in stride.

Bit of a strange note: We keep running into people who were good friends of ours, but we haven’t seen or spoken to in years. Nothing strange about any of the stores we’ve visited or anything. Its like these people are being put in our path so we can say goodbye. It’s crazy.

Something amusing… caught Aunt Karla in a lie. Several months ago, she attacked us because her dog had died. Funny thing. The dog is very much alive. No major newsflash there, just something my mom realized only in retrospect after my aunt bit her head off.

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It is ON!

Saturday, December 5th, 2009

Guess we couldn’t escape without Catty Karla getting one last lick in. While Craig and I were running another load of things to the storage unit, she came over to get some family paintings and stuff. She apparently lit into Mom. Mostly about my thing with Poppa over the phone, but also for us leaving.

It is ON. Karla, Poppa, Grandma, Caroline… I’m going to prove you wrong!

My fear will be a catalyst for my new life! I’ll take this leap of faith… I will succeed.

In the words of Yoda: Do, or do not. There is no try.

Gotta go. Love you all.

XOXO

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Disowned

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

I finally broke down and calling my grandfather in an attempt to reconcile.

I spent weeks rehearsing what I was going to say, over and over.

Lets just say that just blew up in my face. I was wrong, I was mistaken, I was lying, I was making stuff up, I need to reevaluate, he doesn’t know where I got that, he doesn’t know what’s going on in my head, he can’t read me, he can’t understand me. It was all me, he did nothing… said nothing. I was the villain yet again.

I tried talking with him about the crap that’s gone on during the past 12 years. Like him literally throwing my things during one of our moves.

Him: “Well, you should have gotten out there and helped.”
Me: “Did it ever occur to you that I was already helping someone else?”

He’s threatened to harm our animals. Nope, he never said that. I point out his comment about his gun helping with our “cat problem” just a month ago. His response: “Gawd.” And then comes an ultimatum: get rid of our animals or say goodbye to him.

I told him I’ll find another option. I’ve been abandoned enough in my life, I won’t inflict that pain on another living creature. I’m more important than those animals, he says. I didn’t even bother to protest that Luna has saved my life numerous times as a hypoglycemia alert dog.

Then he literally had the balls to wax nostalgic over Brownie, our collie who died years ago.

Every point I tried to make, he said I was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. My feelings are totally wrong.

He said I used to be his best friend, but I’m not anymore. He even declared I don’t love him. He’s been so gracious to offer to let us live with him, but for the sake of those animals we’re refusing. We need to think it over “real good.” The animals or be disowned.

I finally said “Goodbye, Poppa. I love you.” and hung up.

I made it out to the living room and just collapsed in the middle of the floor.

If I don’t love him, why in the world does it feel like I was punched in the gut?

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