Posts Tagged ‘resume’

Do they make a Beano for Brain Farts?

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

Received a phone call just now from the human resource manager of a Dallas area company that makes VoIP security technologies as well as routers and stuff. In order to set them up, they provide a web application with their products.

It’s entry level, only basic level knowledge required. I’m giddy. Can he ask me some technical questions to test my knowledge? Absolutely!

“In Java, how would you set up two threads to count from 1 to 5 simultaneously?”

Brainfart… I stammer a basic loop structure.

“How would you do that in two threads?”

Brainfart. Ummmm….

“Have you had much experience in threads in Java?”

*whimper* Not much, I’m afraid.

“Okay, we’ll just move on. How would you hide an element in Javascript?”

Crap crap crap crap crap… I’ve DONE THIS! Several times in fact. …. brain fart.

“How would you underline an element using strictly CSS.”

text-decoration:underline

“Excellent. How would I look up a string of text inside of a text file in Unix/Linux?”

Great, big, stinking brainfart. I can’t believe my mom and pets can breathe this stench!

“I see you mention SQL on your resume, how would you look up a single line?”

SELECT FROM database… no, wait… (Thinking: SELECT geeks FROM WoW — btw, thanks! I wouldn’t have gotten that if your guild name didn’t spontaneously pop into my head. lol) SELECT fields FROM DATABASE WHERE keyfield

“Okay, great.”

Apologize for brainfarts, I know how to do this, but I just moved and all my resource books are still in storage.

“That’s fine. Do you have any questions for me?”

Recall Matt suggesting from now on asking how much experience they’re looking for.

“Not much, we’re looking for a junior member of the team. Someone who won’t need a great deal of training, but can grow with our company.”

Fantastic! Thanks so much!

*gives contact and other information* “Someone may contact you later in the week to schedule an interview. Thanks for your time and have a great day!”

Thanks again, have a nice day! Take care!

*head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk* *head-desk*

Second Thoughts the Other Way

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

Okay, now we have second thoughts the other way. Mom called one of the affordable apartments near us and while they’d be cool with the girls, they require all tenants to be making at least $1700 a month. Totally lets us out.

Mom called our DHS case worker to inquire about Section 8 Housing, course, the state screwed up DHS so it’ll probably be… oh, friday… before she gets back with us.

Which took us back the other way, back towards leaving again. Either way, we’re going to be homeless for a bit.

I found a few entry level web development jobs I could do, but will they take me is the question. I’m completely clueless about cover letters in the first place, let along crafting one to convince people to consider me when I’m not even there yet.

One is, awesomely enough, with the World Wildlife Federation and the other is for a yacht company. I can do everything both ask, though I’ve only dabbled with ASP. (I can make it say “Hello World” and some other basic newbie stuff.)

*eyes Echo snoozing in the armchair* I don’t think so! Mom did her best dragon impression ever last night, remember? You are sleeping tonight!

Resume Writing and Business Metaphysical

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

Trying to rewrite my resume again, this time to send to employers in the Northern Virginia, DC, and Maryland areas. The fact is, an entry level resume isn’t that exciting.

It’s not so much an issue of confidence. I have complete faith I could do the jobs I’m applying for; but, it’s convincing a total stranger of that. Yes, they might have to train me… but I’ve had the honor of pleasantly surprising every employer I’ve worked for at the speed I can learn and apply the skills they give me. It’s also convincing them that while I’m not local yet, I want to move to their area.

So, off to the internet I go. Some of the stuff regarding job searching is amazingly… metaphysical sounding. Almost like religious writings. If they were using other language, they might sound exactly like some of the new age metaphysical stuff. Or maybe crazy cult writing. Just without the heavy incense. And suits instead of strange robes. Some of this stuff you probably need a degree program just to learn how to translate and apply it.

I’m kind of jealous of anyone who went to a college and got realistic resume and job search help. After my classes with Baker, I’m still stumped on how to write effective resumes and cover letters. Not understanding how to write an objective / summary, I completely omitted one. Nothing I write is considered “strong” despite straight A’s in my traditional writing classes. It’s obviously a different language, totally different syntax… despite looking like English.

Posted to as many career and lifestyle forums as I could, asking for advice on how to sell myself to out-of-state employers. I’m trying things first with just my e-mail and portfolio address. If that doesn’t work, I’ll see about a virtual PO box and a virtual phone number from Vonage.

And if all else fails: screw it. I’ll just take the leap of faith and hope I land on something soft.

Of Pig-Tails and Resumes

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

Thanks to the economy and lack of work, I’ve found myself once again having gone six months or greater since I last had my hair cut. The result is I can now put my hair in pig tails. Probably looks a little dodgy since I’m nearly 30, but it does mean a change of pace. I might leave it just long enough so I can have short, stubble ponytails and pig-tails as an option again. It does make it awfully convenient when I’m doing housework.

Trying to get my resumes squared away too so maybe I can do more commission work or maybe get a job through a temporary staffing agency. Aside from much-needed money, I really need portfolio pieces and something I can get internship credit for. Overall, I really just need experience.

No Experience

Tuesday, January 15th, 2008

Thanks everyone for your thoughts about the job offer. I doubt I’m going to get it. They want 3 – 5+ years of actual work experience for this job.

So, it’s off to internship searching for me. It’s the only thing that’s going to get me enough experience. They’re starting to nag me about the whole moderator thing over on Luna, so I have to switch gears back to the usual. (Not that I’m complaining, sometimes I need nagging.)

*glomps!* ありがと ~♥